Peach White and the Seven Yoshis
by AGP1990
Summary: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs told in the Marioverse. The names of the Yoshis are derived from Cat Stevens' Numbers. Songs (C)1937 Walt Disney Music


Once upon a time, in what is now the Mushroom Kingdom, there lived King Norman and Queen Edna. One winter, Queen Edna sat at the window and watched the rose King Norman gave her; he was away at the Koopa Crusades. "Oh, how I wish that I had a child with lips as red as the rose, skin as pale as the peach, hair as golden as the sun, and eyes as blue as the sky," she would frequently sigh. And on August 23 the following year, she did get a child exactly like that, a daughter that she and Norman named Peach White. The queen died a few days later, and King Norman remarried, this time to Queen Camilla Koopa, who came to despise Peach White so much that every single day, she asked her magic mirror:

"Magic Mirror on the wall,

Who is the fairest one of all?"

And as long as the mirror said this, she was satisfied:

"You are the fairest, it is true;

And none will be as fair as you."

However, Peach White soon became beautiful in her own right, much more so than the Queen. On Peach White's sixteenth birthday, Queen Camilla asked the mirror the same question that she had long asked it:

"Magic Mirror on the wall,

Who is the fairest one of all?"

But now she got a different answer:

"You are quite fair, but it is true:

Peach White is fairer now than you."

"Drat!" cried Camilla. "I _must_ get rid of Peach White!" She ordered her Goombas and Koopa Troopas to come forth. "I want you to kill Peach White! Get rid of her once and for all!"

As she was picking up mushrooms in the forest with her best friend and fellow princess Daisy Yellow, who was to turn eighteen on September 8, Peach White turned around, thinking that she heard the footsteps of two Koopa Troopas. She hated being right; but she knew there was little of a choice for her now.

As all was about to be lost, up came two nobly clad men, both aged twenty-one, dressed in red and green. The red prince introduced himself as Prince Mario, the green one as Prince Luigi. And the two princes attacked the Koopa Troopas, sending them careening into the distance.

"My stepmother!" Peach White gasped. "She wants to be the fairest in the kingdom and she wants me dead!"

"I know the perfect place," Daisy Yellow said. "There's a house in the forest that belongs to the seven Yoshis."

So Peach White ran off, safe from what would have been her eventual doom. In less than five minutes, when her Fitbit had just hit 10,000 steps, she saw the house of the Seven Yoshis. Before she got in, she saw what looked like seven small mailboxes on the door. She read them off one by one: "They read 'Monad'… 'Dupey'… 'Trezlar'… 'Cubis'… 'Quizlo'… 'Hexidor'… and 'Septo.' What strange names those are!"

Then she went in. "What a mess this place is!" she said sternly. Then she summoned all the animals of the forest to help her clean as she broke into this joyful song:

"Whistle while you work

And cheerfully

Together we

Can tidy up the place

Just hum a merry tune

It won't take long

When there's a song

To help you set the pace

And as you sweep the room

Imagine that the broom

Is someone that you love and soon

You'll find you're dancing to the tune

You whistle while you work

When hearts are high

The time will fly

So whistle while you work

Whistle while you work

Put on that grin

And start right in

To whistle loud and long

Just hum a merry tune

Just do your best

And take a rest

And sing yourself a song

When there's too much to do

Don't let it bother you,

Forget your troubles, try to be

Just like the cheerful chickadee

And whistle while you work

Come on, get smart,

Tune up and start

To whistle while you work"

As she finished, she realized that the house was all neat and organized; then she went upstairs and took a nap. Some five miles away, unbeknownst to Peach White but beknownst to those reading this, the Seven Yoshis were digging for gems of every kind. Their leader, a green Yoshi named Monad, was inspecting the gems brought by the blue Dupey, the red Trezlar, the yellow Cubis, the turquoise Quizlo, the pink Hexidor, and the purple Septo. As they worked they sang:

"We dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig

In a mine the whole day through

To dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig

Is what we like to do!

It ain't no trick to get rich quick

If you dig, dig, dig with a shovel or a pick

In a mine (in a mine)

In a mine (in a mine)

Where a million diamonds shine

We dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig

From early morn till night

We dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig

Up everything in sight!

We dig up diamonds by the score

A thousand rubies, sometimes more!

Though we don't know what we're digging for…

We dig, dig, diggity dig!"

In the distance, Monad could hear a clock chime five, so he shouted:

"Heigh ho!"

And the rest of the Yoshis except Septo, who couldn't speak, made the same response.

"Three, four!" cried Monad, and they broke into song again:

"Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho

It's home from work we go!

(Whistle)

Heigh ho! Heigh ho!

Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho

It's home from work we go!

(Whistle)

Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho

Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho

Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho

Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho

Heigh Ho, Hum!

Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho

It's home from work we go!

(Whistle)

Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho,

Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho."

When they got home, they were in for a big surprise. "What do you see, Septo?" said Monad. "A monster?" asked Dupey. "Sleeping in our bed?" added Trezlar. "And she cleaned the house?" cried Cubis. "She said she's running from Queen Camilla?" shouted Quizlo. "Oh my gosh! That's Peach White!" gasped Hexidor. They all ran in, and Peach White woke up just as they entered the room. "Oh my goodness!" she gasped. "Are you the Seven Yoshis that my friend Daisy Yellow was talking about?"

"Oh, indubitably," answered all but Septo at once.

"I need to stay in your house to escape the evil Queen Camilla Koopa until I see my fair Prince Mario again," she explained.

"Well, since your friend knows about it, you are our guest, and we will treat you like a sister," the Yoshis said.

"Oh, thank you!" cried Peach White.

Meanwhile, Queen Camilla was furious. "Blast! You failed to kill her? That does it! I'll do it myself!" And she set off for her secret lair, chanting this spell for the concoction to poison a peach:

"Eye of Cheep-Cheep, scale of Rex,

Ounce of beer made by the Czechs,

Spike of Spiny, Monty Mole,

Rocky Wrench's heart and soul,

Cloud of ghastly Lakitu,

Buzzy Beetle, Goomba's shoe,

Helmet of a Chargin' Chuck,

Feather of a dying duck,

Wool of Swooper, Bob-omb's fuse;

That is all that I will use

In my plans to drain the joys in

Any peach to give it poison."

At the Seven Yoshis' house, Peach White sang a beautiful song for them:

"Some day my prince will come

Some day we'll meet again

And away to his castle we'll go

To be happy forever I know

Some day when spring is here

We'll find our love anew

And the birds will sing

And wedding bells will ring

Some day when my dreams come true"

"How beautiful!" the Yoshis cried. But they realized that with the time being 10:00, there was no more time for a song; so they all went to bed.

The next afternoon, Peach White was alone in the house working when she heard a knock on the door. To Princess Peach the figure she saw looked like an elderly Koopa; but what she didn't know was that it was really Queen Camilla in disguise. "Care for a peach?" she said. "It's good for you."

"I don't mind if I do," said Peach White, and she took a bite. The next second, she lay on the floor, immobile and lifeless. Queen Camilla rushed back to the castle and spoke to the mirror:

"Magic Mirror on the wall,

Who is the fairest one of all?"

And the mirror replied:

"You are the fairest, it is true;

And none will be as fair as you."

When Daisy Yellow arrived at the home of the Seven Yoshis, she was horrified. "I must tell the Princes and the Seven Yoshis!" she cried as a thunderstorm started. She was just going off to tell the Seven Yoshis when they rushed off after Queen Camilla, now shedding her disguise. "You can't stop me, you omnivorous jerks!" she said as she found a huge boulder to crush them.

As she said this Monad, angered at being called a jerk, went redder in the face than Trezlar and roared, "You're dealing with licensed miners here! And if Peach White is still truly the fairest in the land, then may lightning strike you dead!"

At this a bolt of lightning did strike the boulder, and Queen Camilla ran away, pursued by it, to her castle. As she reached it, the boulder crashed right into the walls, knocking the mirror down and breaking it. For Queen Camilla, no mirror meant no life, so she suffered a fatal heart attack and was no more. So much for her seven years bad luck. Nobody bothered to attend her funeral.

But Peach White was still immobile and lifeless, and the Seven Yoshis put her in a casket of solid glass. The months passed until the following April, when, as quick tears rained down everybody's face, Prince Mario stepped forth, kissing Peach White's lips, and she miraculously awoke, bringing joy to all.

"Oh, what a long sleep I've had," she yawned. "I almost felt like I was dead." "We thought so, too," said Prince Mario, "but now that I have revived you, will you marry me?" "Why, yes!" cried Peach White. So Peach White married Prince Mario and Daisy Yellow Prince Luigi; King Norman remarried Daisy Yellow's widowed mother; Queen Camilla was soon forgotten; the Seven Yoshis formed a corporation to sell their gems; and Peach White and Prince Mario lived happily ever after.


End file.
